Another glorious day here in the shire and as I sit outside to get use of the rare sunlight we see in Scotland I see myself scrolling through instagram and facebook and looking at all these wonderful, inspiring women sharing their stories and their journeys. It got me thinking of my journey with my weight and was hoping that maybe if someone would read this I would inspire them too.
My weight has always been an issue for me. I have always been the curvy one, the fat one, called tree trunk legs but also celebrated by some for my figure. Lots of boobs and ass but a lovely belly to go with it. When I was younger though I was slim, and over the years I have fluctuated between being a big girl to losing all the weight. I currently sit at my heaviest weight to date, and that purely because I don’t take care of myself as much as I should do. This year however, something made me want to change.
January is always the time for resolutions, promise making, to do lists and plans made. January for me for the past few years has always been the same “I’m not going to bother to make resolutions because I would never stick to them”. Roll on to the end of February and by now everyone I know has started their gym routines, eating healthy and have started guzzling back that water like the seas are going to dry up and there’s nothing left. MY journey started with a bet. ” give up a type of food for the whole of march. Something that you can’t live without” I couldn’t think of anything. I was all ready to ignore the rest of the conversation when someone said “well crisps, you always have a packet with you lunch… why not give them up?” It got me thinking well yeah, I could give them up. It was only one month so why not? So that’s where it started… my love of crisps. I then decided, well if I’m going to give this up in order to start thinking about a healthy lifestyle then what else could I do to give me an incentive to keep going. I signed myself up for the Breast Cancer UK 10,000 step challenge for the whole of March. Basically all I had to do was 10,000 steps everyday and get sponsored to do it. “Win, Win” I thought “I’m going to be raising money for charity plus it would get me in to a routine of getting out and about to get my step count up.” I also bought an aerobic stepper for the days I didn’t really feel like going out but needed to push myself to do those extra steps to push over 10,000. When March was over I was already in the routine of working out, eating right and guzzling down that water too! I managed to loose almost a stone and I was buzzing “look how far I can go” I thought “look at well I’m doing.” And the life got in the way…
I work a lot, and I have been back and forth on to nightshift and working crazy hours. I was eating because it was quick, I had no energy and my mental health started to go down hill. I lost my confidence, I lost that spark I had, I lost my drive. I didn’t see the point in carrying on, why should I? who am I kidding, I’ll never be able to loose the weight. I was in a spiral of negativity. It wasn’t until the middle of May that I realised just how unhealthy I was being. Not only for what I was putting in my body, but my laziness and lack of motivation was overwhelming. I would have my good days, and I would have so so so many bad days. Take aways, massive portion sizes, no more water! I think the best thing I did for my body through the whole process was drink hot water with a slice of lemon ( and in my head I thought I was doing enough.)
Fast forward to the present day and I’ve been evaluating where I’m at and have decided to make a promise to myself that I will get back on track and focus on me and my health, Sometimes it’s not always about looking good but helping your mental health by giving yourself the confidence, and making yourself proud to be you.
Has anyone else and struggles on their journey? or has anyone been super successful and have some hints and tips? please comment below and let’s help each other out!